INTERVIEW WITH SUDHANSHU, DAD OF TEEN SON

 I am here with Sudhanshu, father of a 13yo boy.  I asked Sudhanshu how being a dad has influenced his life. 

Sudsjain: Being a parent has transformed my life. I used to be at work all the time and wondered why some of my co-workers couldn't stay later to finish a project. After becoming a parent I suddenly became more sympathetic and understanding. In fact, I stopped staying at work past 6:30. But because I worked in high tech, I would login from home after he went to bed and then I would often work till 2 am.

  Nechama:  I appreciate you sharing that because I've heard it said that as common as it is to hear a woman being asked how she juggles career and family, it is rare to hear that being asked of a man. Thank you for showing us that men prioritize that balance as well.  Sudsjain:  Then I started becoming more interested in the environment because of the polluted world we are handing our kids and grandkids.  Four years ago, I retired from high tech to work on solving the problem with Climate Change.  Now I'm a full time volunteer.   Nechama: Obviously being a parent has truly inspired you. Do you think your son sees you as similar to or different from his friends' parents? 

Sudsjain: He does see me as different than his friend's parents because I'm always at his school. In fact, I'm currently co-teaching his algebra class. 

 Nechama: Does your son communicate to you how that influences his view of himself? 

 Sudsjain: Well being retired, I get to take him to school and pick him up. So I spend a lot of time with him. I would say that he's strongly influenced by me because he wants to become a scientist. I'm very much a geek. 

 Nechama: Interesting. Do the two of you ever have the opportunity to discuss your identity as a man in the world, not necessarily professionally, but vis a vis society and global community? 

 Sudsjain: I'm now completely immersed in working on Climate Change education so I spend a lot of time writing letter to the editor and meeting with elected officials. I'm also on the board of an environmental organization so I think I'm giving him a view of the world that includes volunteering and contributing to society without monetary compensation. 

 Nechama: I can see that! Is that something that the two of you ever get a chance to discuss or work on together? 

 Sudsjain: We mostly talk about it. He would rather play video games than come to events with me. That's probably very typical for kids his age. Still I think that it has a long term influence on his world view. 

 Nechama: Absolutely! I would very much agree with that! What is the way that the two of you connect the most? Do you do something together at his school? Or, is there something at home that gives you quality time together? 

Sudsjain: We mostly connect when talking about technology news. Hackers, latest gadgets, being safe on the internet. We do talk Lego Robotics because I've coached a team for 5 years now and he's been on my team.

 

  Nechama: Nice! Just one more question... What would you say to dads looking to take a more active parenting role in their children's lives? 

Sudsjain: I guess I would say that you need to spend the time now with your children to form strong lifelong bonds. Volunteering at your child's school is critical to understanding your child's friends and learning style. It's also critical for building good schools. 

Nechama: YES! I couldn't agree more! Thank you so much for taking this time to share from your valuable experience.  Sudsjain: Thank you for the opportunity.    Nechama: Have a meaningful and connected day!